The Dutch government wants YOU to get a sex buddy to satisfy your natural urges

Photo by Vishwas Katti

I had hoped this was a joke, but this actually happened and was reported on by The Guardian:

Single men and women in the Netherlands are being advised to organise a seksbuddy (sex buddy) after criticism of rules dictating that home visitors maintain a 1.5-metre distance from their hosts during the coronavirus lockdown.

In a typically open-minded intervention, official guidance from the Dutch National Institute for Public Health and the Environment (RIVM) has been amended to suggest those without a permanent sexual partner come to mutually satisfactory agreements with like-minded individuals.

What makes this advise so perverse is not just how it’s weirdly unnecessary (surely it will make sense to everyone that if you can get corona from someone breathing on you, having sex with them isn’t safe either). More than that, it’s the implication that sex is something to be regulated, as if it were a simple biological urge like eating or sleeping.

The word “perverse” is thrown around quite loosely, but Freud had a very precise definition for it. For him, any sexual act was perverse that didn’t lead to a “natural” conclusion, namely intercourse. Perversion is when we forget the intended purpose of a sexual activity, and start enjoying this activity for its own sake. That includes voyeurism, foot fetish, and all that kinky stuff, but for Freud, even kissing should be considered perverse if it doesn’t lead straight to sex.

But what’s the goal of sex? Is it simply to produce the family? Would Freud consider sex with a condom to be perverse as well?

The simple and obvious answer is that the goal of sex isn’t children, it’s love. Whether it serves to reawaken an old love, confirm and solidify a new one, or only expresses a longing for love, it all boils down to love. The only reason sex feels good, and not gross, is because of how it connects to love.

So to invert this relationship, and say that love and romance are just ideological constructs that ultimately serve a biological need, is the ultimate perversion. Unfortunately, at least in the Netherlands, this position is now apparently official state ideology. As long as this is the case, the Dutch people will be very confused about sex, and will hurt each other in the process.

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