To a liberal, homosexuality is something to be tolerated. A liberal can’t understand how anyone could judge what goes on between two consenting adults in the privacy of their own home. If you’re more conservative yourself, and you don’t want to have gay sex, that’s fine! But why demand that others don’t have it either?
To a conservative, homosexuality goes against Nature. Love should be between a man and a woman, so that they can have children, that’s just common sense. To a conservative, love isn’t a matter of personal preference, love has the role of creating the Family, the basic unit of every society. The harmonious balance of the family, where every member has a certain role to play, is literally the glue that keeps society together. That keeps it from falling into the liberal hell of individual islands, using an app to find someone whose kinks is compatible with their own kinks.
This is the failure of liberalism. It gives you the freedom to choose whichever identity you want, but it’s blind to the frame of reference these identities relate to, the “normal” case. Liberalism can’t challenge this frame of reference, because without it, there would be no society, things would simply fall apart.
Truthfully, the average liberal finds homosexuality just as weird as the average conservative. But the liberal is ready to tolerate it, forcing the conservative to take a stand in defense of what love really means.
So what we really need is not more tolerance, but a new definition for love, that applies to everyone, that can replace the old love. The only way that homosexuality can really make sense is if we are forced to admit that love is Spiritual, not natural. For a conservative, the only way sex can be non-perverted is if it stands in service to the production of the family. We must assert that sex doesn’t come from some natural bodily drive, but stands in service to Love, is a ritual we perform to evoke Love.
The only way such a vision can take hold is when it has the ability to redefine social bonds, to replace the old ones. That means our vision can’t be tolerant. It should come with a set of rules that must apply to everyone, no matter their personal preferences. These rules would be designed to uphold the Spirituality of love and sex. Advertising that uses sex would be forbidden. No more porn, or maybe some kind of new Spiritual Porn that only shows sex in service of love. No more one-night-stands! No more sex before some kind of official declaration of love.
What the liberal can’t see is that sex is not part of some personal preference, it goes to the heart of a culture and how a society is reproduced. So the only way we can end homophobia is by redefining social bonds to include homosexuality.